I licke Rolf Harris (PART ONE)


Fellow blogger Bob Fischer has embarked on an epic quest this year; to post each and every one of his detailed diary entries from 1984. The fact that he managed to stick to writing for a whole year amazes me as the only two childhood diaries of my own that I can recall were updated on a weekly basis at best and at worst abandoned after about five installments.

Always one to jump on the bandwagon I thought I would route out these hidden relics of my shady past and since I have very little “street-cred” to lose I present them here for your approval.


The school obviously forced my hand with this, demonstrated by the cheerful feedback. I was far too passive a child to begin chronicling my own, fairly uneventful, childhood. I was much more interested in writing stories and making up games for real life to get involved. Never the less I remember the event described here quite clearly. I was a slow learner when it came to riding a bike and by the age of almost 8 I still hadn’t managed it. My Mam’s screams of agony (At least that’s how I remember it. Noone likes to hurt Mams do they? Doctor Shipman aside.) put paid to my cycling ambitions for another couple of months.


It seems strange that I’d chronicle my trip to Gateshead’s premiere children’s party venue and only use a pencil drawing to reference the brutal act of rape committed  upon a 7 year old by a grinning vinyl punch bag. I think it’s safe to assume I probably injured my toe in an accident not 100 miles from the mythical Kid’s Kingdom.


 I can’t think of anything to add to this one. Damn fine storytelling.




Here is another entry I remember really clearly. Although it seems to be a bit late in the day to qualify this is the first time I recall going to the pictures – and what better way to launch into the world of cinema than a film starring those three giants of the acting profession; Christopher Lloyd, Leonard Nimoy and…Macaulay Culkin. The man with the tall hat in the picture above is not an example of comedic license; I vaguely recall that happening.

Well, five entries should be more than enough for the moment. A diary is meant to be serialized after-all. More soon!


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