Buy! Buy! Buy!

Here it is then, the first re-post. This is pretty much as it was on my Myspace blog but with added notes that tell the story that has unfolded since that posting. Enjoy!

“My house … is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay”

– Ebay Song by Weird Al Yankovic

Ebay is my vice of choice, or at least it was until I realised that each month’s paycheck was rapidly being reduced to a pittance after my compulsive deductions. The same applies to all online shopping but in the past ebay in particular has helped to fuel my apsergers-like obsessions. For your perusal here I present.

The Top 5 Useless Thing I Bought On Ebay

5) Ticket From the Premier of ‘Take Her, She’s Mine’

Take Her, She\'s Mine ticket

Not a particularly good film by most accounts, in fact I haven’t even seen it. But this ticket was in the same room as James Stewart at one point and isn’t torn! It must be one of very few in this world and I’d wager the only one in England.

Cost: Records lost to the sands of Ebay but around £8 inc p+p

4) Winnie the Pooh Talking Record Set With Book

James Stewart + Winnie the Pooh = Classy


Please believe me when I say this is cool and is one of the many James Stewart records I have snapped from the clutches of capitalist ebay hoarders. This has been in my possession for three months. I have yet to listen to it.

Note: As this is a re-post and some time as past I can now say that I have listened to this record and yes it is cool.

Cost: About £24 including p+p

3) Roger Rabbit in 3-D, Issue One

I had wanted some 3D specs for a while as I had downloaded some videos of Disneyland that required the glasses to view correctly (Hole, Deeper, Digging) so this made sense to me. If I’m going to pay for some specs I may as well get a cool comic to go along with them.


When they arrived they barely fit my head. Honestly! You would think they were made for children or something!

Cost: £1.04 + £1.60 p+p

2) Aeroplane Monthly Magazine, OCTOBER 1979, Volume 7, No.10

This one may seem a very odd purchase but take a good look at the cover stories and you will notice that this is just another in my long list of James Stewart related purchases. There are only four pages that interest me but the photos are great. In fact this is contains the only photograph I know of showing James Stewart actually in flight. This justifies the expense, honestly.

Cost: £2 + £1 p+p

1) Vincent Price’s Face!

Look at this, an object of true beauty. I am told the cast was taken for the movie Dead Heat, one of Price’s later roles. It isn’t original or anything, in fact it is one of many casts taken from the same mould but how could I resist? It’s so cool. I could astound my family and friends with my amazing talking piece. As it turned out most people were freaked out by the cast and many thought I had stolen his death mask or something.

Edit: My Vincent Price Head was mentioned on radio some time after posting. He is still a celebrity from beyond the grave! I’ll see if I can get the permission to post the clip at some point in the future.

So there you have it. Nothing to extravagant but it all adds up, trust me on that. I don’t know why I need this stuff but I do, perhaps I have convinced myself one day it will become useful. Can you imagine the crap lying around my house by the time I hit forty? This vice is probably just going to get worse. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m just going to…err…check my email…

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2 Responses to “Buy! Buy! Buy!”

  1. John Scott Says:

    So Master Smith, how much was the Vincent Price deathmask?

  2. illegibleme Says:

    I wish I could remember. It doesn’t even turn up on my paypal records. Perhaps they were giving the damn thing away!

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